Sunday, June 24, 2012

It's NOT the Books, It's Me



I have realised or am hoping, it is me,my life, not my love of books letting me down.

I love to read, love to blog, enjoy writing the reviews, reading the comments and networking with you and others around the blogosphere.

BUT

To be straight to the point, life has been an emotional roller coaster.  I will try not to be too emotional and have this be to long.

My partner's mom passed in March, she had been in my life for 12 years.  Some of you may remember, my brother had a massive stroke last year February, he started getting a little better but was told he will never walk again this year February.  I believe he stopped fighting at that point and he passed in May.  My 5 year old daughter started asking if I'm going to die, heartbreaking.

So dealing with grief has been hard and the usual escape of reading a book obviously hasn't happened.

It's not the books, it's me............

The diamond in the rough was us buying the house. (See a picture here) We bid in February but had to walk away due to the family tragic moments that were both sudden.  We received a call to say the house was up for rent also, we wanted to do anything to get the house, was told they accepted our offer.  An hour later was told the renters signed on the contract and we will have to buy with the 2 year rent, BIG ASS SIGH.

There was lots of tears from me, my partner had lost him mom by this time and couldn't concentrate but thought 2 years getting income would be great.  Yes great BUT not my goal.  I was already emotional invested in the house and wanted to make it my own, so now I own a beautiful home, receiving rent but cannot move into it until April 2012.

So yes.

It's not the books, it's me............

I haven't had an amazing read in months, honestly only 1-2 are memorable.  I do still try to come and comment but it is hard.  I read maybe 20 pages a day.  I'm sorry, I think I am slightly depressed, stressed and now officially in a reading and blogging slump.

It's not the books, it's me............

So real life has taken over, I have high hopes though, the cup is always half full with me so I'm not going anywhere.

Now you have an answer to why I'm not posting or networking like normal.

HUGS

34 comments:

  1. Oh darlin, I am sorry for all that you are going through. I know what it's like. Hell, I hardly comment at all. I actually am starting to dislike writing reviews. And I am waiting for a WOW book to hit me over the head. Seriously, where are you?
    I'm here for you in any way. I know we don't KNOW each other but I've been through a lot of depression these last few years for reasons much like yours. Email me if you need to.
    Hugs to you,
    Michelle

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    1. Thanks Michelle, I appreciate it, that Wow book has got to come. I know we will always give recommendations even if we did stop blogging.

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  2. I am so, so sorry that you are going through all that {{{HUGS}}} :( Feel free to email me any time okay??!?! Like you, it's life, and not the books that's been taking me away from blogging, and like Michelle I am still waiting for that WOW book this year (a couple had not been bad, but not like I feel like I need to recommend it to everyone I know). I know it's hard to not read/blog since it's so much part of us, but know that it'd always be part of us just that we have other priorities right now. Take care!!

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    1. Thanks Christa HUGS I appreciate you and am glad we keep in touch.

      That Wow book seems to have a few of us this year, sigh

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  3. Big hugs, Marce.

    You have had a very difficult year. I do hope that time will help you to feel less stressed.

    carol x

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    1. I'm trying to stay optimistic, thank you. It doesn't help that my career is listening to people problems all day and trying to get them to make good decisions. It has been overwhelming this year.

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  4. I'm so sorry you're having such a difficult time. I missed the picture of your house but it looks gorgeous. Take it easy on yourself and read when the mood strikes.

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    1. Thanks Kathy, i'm thrilled about the house, can you believe I own a piece of the rock. Do you remember that saying when you were here?

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  5. I'm so sorry to hear about everything you're going through. I couldn't possibly imagine how hard it must be for you and your family right now. My thoughts are with you. Let me know if you need anything. And I hope things change around for you very soon.

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    1. Oh Clarissa, I appreciate it, thank you so much. I'm staying optimistic.

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  6. One of the best things about blogs is you can do what you want, when you want, because it's yours. You have to deal with your life first and foremost. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. p.s. Maybe you will get lucky and those renters will move out before their lease is up! (insert evil laugh here)

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    1. JoJo you are thinking like me, (evil laugh) A year from now would be perfect or anytime in 2013 before Aug. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

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  7. O sweetie. I'm so sorry. So understandable. So much grief. When you're ready, only when you're ready, perhaps you should look for books that have grief as part of the theme. Sometimes it helps connect with characters who are going through the same thing as you. Take your time. Heal. * love & hugs*

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    1. I think this is an excellent idea, will get recommendations from books I have read about grief to see what comes up.

      Thanks Juju HUGS

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  8. We will be here when you are ready. Take all the time you need, but take care of yourself.
    God bless.
    (((HUGS)))

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    1. Thanks Freda, when needed you are always here to comment with positive feedback, I appreciate it.

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  9. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate, so it's not surprising that books aren't really grabbing you and your not posting as much. Take care of yourself, and we'll be here when you're ready to come back fully. ((HUGS))

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    1. Thanks for the kind words and understanding. HUGS

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  10. I am sorry for the losses you have experienced lately. Take all the time you need, take care of your family, it will come when you are ready.

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    1. Thank you Nise, this has been my first loss that was a true heartbreak and sudden so it is hard. I do hope my love of reading comes back soon.

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  11. I'm sorry to hear what you're going through, Marce! I really hope things pick up and life throws you a bone. Take as much time as you need!

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    1. I appreciate your understanding, thanks for the kind words Krstilyn.

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  12. I am so sorry for what you are dealing with. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry for all the losses you have had to face and deal with. I know, it's not easy.

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    1. Cheryl, I know you have been through this also, thank you so much. I appreciate the additional support via email also.

      HUGS

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  13. I'm so sorry to hear about all this. I hope better days will come soon. Thank you for letting us know.

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    1. Thanks for understanding. We all know we have lives outside of blogging but when it hits with a ton of bricks instead of books it is time consuming and stressful.

      I will stay optimistic.

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  14. I am sorry to hear this. Take your time to heal .

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    1. It is amazing how much the 'time to heal' comment is so touching and meaningful while going through this.

      Thank you

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  15. Hang in there. We'll be here when you are ready. Take care of yourself and your family.

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  16. ((((Marce))) - I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your brother and your partner's mother. The most important thing is for you to let the healing process happen and do what you feel is best for yourself. The blog and the books will still be there when you feel ready for them.

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  17. Marce my dear, not to sound so effing cliche, but this so to shall pass. I am so sorry for your losses, they suck a big smelly pickle, grief is a life process, it never really goes away. That shock of ice water thrown on you feeling does, but the grief becomes another facet of you. My father is gone 3 yrs the 12th and not a day goes by that I don't think of him or have to take a deep breath because my heart has clenched.

    As far as the books, I'm in the same damn boat, what the hey? Where is that great read that makes you say NO when you turn the last page?

    I'm thinking of you friend : )

    Paula

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  18. You've got a lot on your plate, Marce. I'm sending hugs from Cleveland. Hope they make you smile :)

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  19. Sorry to hear about all of your hard times, Marce. Sending you lots of hugs! I am also in a bad reading slump... too much going on.

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Thanks for visiting Tea Time with Marce, I appreciate your comments. I have decided to make this an Award Free Zone, thank you for thinking of me but I prefer comments and do my best to be a good networking blogging friend also.

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